


We Can Still Shoot for the Moon

by Bucket_head



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Odyssey (Video Game)
Genre: Accents, Cultural Differences, I don't know how to write accents, Marriage, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucket_head/pseuds/Bucket_head
Summary: After Mario and Bowers's confrontation on the moon, Peach leaves them there to cool their heads.





	We Can Still Shoot for the Moon

Mario and Bowser shove at each other, flowers crumpling in their fists. Both their eyes sparkle in excitement and panic. 

"Peach-" Mario tries to ask, but is cut off by the Koopa King. "PEACH!"

Peach looks helpless between her two lovers, her own frustration burning in her chest. In a sudden spark of passion she throws her hands to her sides and narrows her eyes. "Enough!"

The two men stare as she walks past them, eyes wide and mouths hanging in shock.

"Come on, you two." The princess beckons the Bonneter siblings, who follow her to the Odyssey. 

"Peach-" "Princess-"

"No!" Peach turns back once more. "I have absolutely HAD IT with you two! I'm sick of you both fighting with each other! I'm sick of you both acting like you can win me!" She steps onto the Odyssey, and the vessel's launch sequence begins. "I'm going to each kingdom YOU-" she points to Bowser "wronged to apologize for you."

Mario shoots Bowser a pointed look as well.

"And then I am going to apologize to each and every thing YOU-" she points to Mario "took control over without permission!"

"B-But-" Mario tries to protest, wincing under the Princess's scold "I needed to do that to a-rescue you."

"Then perhaps you should have gained their consent first!" She narrows her eyes further and Mario flinches. Bowser guffaws quietly to himself.

"You are coming with me as well!" Peach grabs Cappy by his hat, and he squirms in fear. "I want them to hear an apology from you!"

"Y-Yes Ma'am!" The hat squeaks.

Peach levels her gaze back toward the pair. "Then, and ONLY then will I come back to get you both."

Bowser's face twists in confusion. "What do ya mean come and get us?"

The thrusters on the bottom of the airship ignite, and the crimson vessel lifts into the air. Peach grips the railing and shouts to be heard over the noise. "When I return, I expect you both to have talked this out and apologized to one another! I won't stand for any more quarreling!"

"Wait, Princess!" Mario calls, dismayed as she lifts off from sight. "HEY!" Bowser calls to her in kind.

The last they see of her she turns up her nose and walks into the ship, before it lifts up and quickly becomes a red and yellow dot of the horizon.

The moon is eerily quiet when the chugging of the Odyssey fades away. 

Mario falls back onto his butt, staring up into the starry sky with shock. Bowser remains motionless for a good minute, before the fire suddenly sparks back inside of him. He whips around and jabs a massive clawed finger at Mario accusingly. "Plumber! Look what you did!"

"...me." Mario whispers, awed. In the next second his own face flickers into anger. "Me?! This is your fault! You're the one that a-tried to force her to marry you!"

"Then what were you just doing, shoving flowers in her face?" 

"I was going to ask her. Ask! At least I have-a the decency not steal my way to a wedding and try to force the bride to a-say yes!"

"Well your goodie-two-shoes way got you just as far! I'd call that a big fat NO!"

"Th-That's-a because you ruined it!"

"You just can't accept her wanting to marry me! You just want her all to yourself!"

"You're the one who kidnaps her! And I'm the possessive one?!"

"It's romantic!"

"Ro-" Mario looks at him like he's grown another head. "In what world?!"

"It's a Koopa tradition."

"Well if you did not-a notice, neither me or Peach are Koopas!"

"Culturally insensitive, much?" Bowser grunts with a deeper glare.

"Oh, put a sock in it." Mario seethes. It's rare for him to lose his temper, but now is definitely one of those times. He had gotten this close to asking their girlfriend the big question, and then Bowser has to try and step all over it. "You a-heard her just say she was sick of it!"

"Well maybe if you didn't act like it was stupid all the time then she'd realize what I was going for!"

Mario laughs in disbelief. "What are you going for? 'I'm a violent criminal'?"

"Yeah!"

"You're a joke."

Silence falls between them. The only sound is the absently twinkling moon rocks. Bowser's eyes have gone comically wide. Even Mario's face turns surprised at his own venom laced words. 

"...I..." He manages, shaking his head "Bowser, I-"

"No, say it." Bowser grunts. There's new fire in his eyes. It's not what Mario sees when they duel, not a prideful confident gaze. It's pained. "Tell me how ya really feel."

"Bowser..." Mario's voice softens, and he holds out his hands in truce. "Bowser, I didn't mean that."

"Didn't ya?" The King growls. "I'm not a joke even when you kick my ass every time we fight? I'm not a joke when Peach rejects me every time I try to ask her to get married? I'm not a joke when my own soldiers respect Peach and you more than me?"

"Bowser, please-" Mario's face turns guilty. "I got angry, I shouldn't have-"

"Shouldn't have told me how you really see me? I shoulda known you were laughing at me behind my back this whole time. You two laugh about me? Do ya go around and gossip with your little friends about all the dirty secrets I tell ya? Laugh about how you got this stinkin' turtle thinking he's good enough to go out with two humans?" Bowser's teeth are bared, and he crouches aggressively. But Mario doesn't see that. He sees the little twinkles of water gleam in the corners of Bowser's eyes.

"Mio innamorato..." Mario whispers, coming closer. The Koopa roars and punches the rocky ground to scare him off. It makes another small crater on the moon’s surface, and for a moment everything shakes. Mario doesn't even blink.

Bowser backs away as he comes close, until he nearly tumbles back into a large ditch. Mario catches his coat and helps him steady. A silence passes between the huge Koopa and the tiny human. Mario looks up into Bowser's teary eyes, his own gaze softening significantly. Slowly, he lets go of the Koopa's coat and takes a step to the side, taking Bowser's first finger in his hand and squeezing it. "...I don't-a laugh at you." He says, quietly. "Sometimes, when you make a mistake or say something a-rude, I'll chuckle or tell someone. But I don't-a laugh at you. I laugh because it makes-a me happy. Because you being you gives me joy."

Bowser grits his fangs and looks away, finger trembling in Mario's grip. "You...You're just making an excuse."

The Italian shakes his head gently. "I'm not. It's the truth..." He looks away as well, suddenly and deservedly ashamed. "I shouldn't have...I'm so sorry, mio innamorato. I can't believe I a-said that to you. I can't say things like that just because I'm upset. I don't know how to tell you how a-sorry I am."

"Tell me the truth." Bowser mutters. "What do ya really think of me?"

Mario looks back up, but Bowser isn't done yet. "Is it just 'cuz ya want Peach, so ya settle for me too? Do ya get some kinda kick out of it or something?"

"It's-a not about 'kicks'." Mario says firstly, then he continues, softer. "...I care about you, Bowser...maybe you don't-a believe me, but I do. You're rude, and rough, and competitive. But you're a damn good leader, and a great father to your kids." Mario looks away, vulnerability shining through his face. "That's...that's something I really respect about you, Bowser. You take care of your family. That's something I really value."

"...not a job just anyone can do." Bowser admits. His kids really drive him up the damn wall, but he gives it his damn all for them. Mario nods earnestly. "You're a...nicer person than you want to admit. You have a big heart underneath those-a scales." He smiles, but Bowser takes the comment personally.

"Wouldn't expect that of a reptile, huh?" The King grunts.

"That's-a not-" Mario stops himself and shakes his head. "I don't-a care what species you are, Bowser. I've never cared."

"Don't care that I'm like five times your size and breath fire?"

Mario sends him a smirk. "Nope. Actually, you could say it's-a pretty 'hot'."

The stupid joke gets a small chuckle from the Koopa. Mario beams at the sound, but a moment later his face falls again. "...there's one thing I don't-a like about you, Bowser."

The Koopa stiffens, glaring down at Mario. Anger is the King's defense mechanism. Mario knows that, but...he's not gonna be able to bring this up other time. It now or never. "...What if she said yes?"

"Huh?" Bowser's face turns bewildered.

"Peach." Mario says softly. "What if after you a-kidnapped her and took her to the moon she said yes? What if she wanted to marry you?"

Bowser shoves him away. It's not hard, Mario only stumbles back a couple steps. The Koopa bares his fangs is warning, but as expected Mario doesn't care. "I'm not taunting you." He says, gently. "I mean it. What if Peach decided to marry you here today?"

"Then I guess we'd be hitched." Bowser growls out.

"Without me?"

Bowser stops. "...what?"

"You didn't invite me." Mario says softly. "You hired a group of mercenaries specifically to keep-a me out. You destroyed the Odyssey twice so I couldn't follow you, and even when I did finally get here, the first thing you a-said to me was that I wasn't supposed to be there."

Mario looks at his new formal gloves and sleeves. They're already covered in pale dirt. "What if Peach said yes? Would you have just...married her without me even being there?"

For once, Bowser's at a loss for words.

Mario looks back up at the Koopa "...I'm guilty too. The first thing I did when we got out of that collapsing magma cave was try to ask her, but you made so many plans just to make sure I couldn't be here. Did you really not even want me around to watch my two partners get married to each other?"

Bowser regains his composure and swings his tail in aggravation. "W-Well, I knew you'd probably show up anyway-"

"What if I didn't?" Mario probes, voice gaining passion. "What if you both really did-a get married without me around?"

"It wouldn't of happened!" Bowser spits. "If Peach said yes the first damn thing I'd do would be fire those useless bunnies! Then I'd drag you here whether you liked it or not!"

Mario looks at him with fiery eyes. Bowser matches the look. "...I knew she wasn't gonna say yes." Bowser finally spits. "Course I knew. That's why I tried to stop you. If she wanted to - you'd probably show up anyway thinkin' I brainwashed her or something - but I'd still make damn sure you were there for it!"

"...you honestly would want me there?" Mario asks, voice small. He couldn't admit it to his new friend Cappy, but the real reason he's been so against the wedding had little to do with Peach being kidnapped. It was this feeling of...abandonment he'd had, excluded from something so important and intimate to the three of them.

Bowser grumbles, his scales brightening red. "Course I would. You'd be..." He grumbles something unintelligible.

"I'd be what?"

"You know...the...best man or something. I dunno. But you'd sure as hell be there."

Mario looks at him for a moment. A slow smile breaks across his face. "Mio innamorato..."

"What?" Bowser grunts. Mario comes close again, wrapping arms around one of the King's legs. "H-Hey! Stop that!"

"You're-a sweet." Mario says with affection. Bowser grumbles in response. Nevertheless, a moment later a huge hand comes down to softly stroke Mario's brown hair.

"We should fight." Bowser says, out of the blue. Mario laughs. "What?"

"It breaks the tension."

Mario laughs once more. "...I like this tension."

Slowly, the Koopa grunts and nods.

The bleak moon atmosphere seems to brighten around them as they start to stroll through the wasteland. Now that they're no longer angry at each other, they just have to wait for their girlfriend to return to them. Bowser's feet make the ground shake slightly at each step, a loud tromp echoing in turn. Mario has to jog just to keep up. "Why did you take her here if you a-knew she was gonna say no?" Mario asks, making the effort to speak as non-confrontational as possible. Bowser grunts. "If you were a Koopa you'd understand."

"I want-a to understand anyway." Mario insists.

Bowser glances at him a moment. "Thought "you and Peach weren't Koopas"."

"We aren't." Mario says. "But...it's important to you, or you wouldn't always kidnap her. I wanna know."

"...old royal tradition." Bowser mutters. "It's supposed to show who you want that you're strong enough to take what you want and fight to keep it. Usually the male kidnaps the female and holds her until she says yes or she's rescued."

"And if she's a-rescued, you a-kidnap her again?"

"Yep."

Mario starts to shake his head, but stops himself. It's silly to him, but not to Bowser. For the Koopa it's something cultural with meaning, Mario doesn't have the right to just dismiss it...even though it is technically, really illegal "...ok. And that's why you a-kidnap her."

"Yep." Bowser says flatly. "Usually the male's siblings or friends try to rescue her-"

"Huh?" That catches Mario off guard. "Your own family works against you?"

"It's about keeping a secure stronghold and fighting until you can't anymore. Not about keeping her locked up forever." Bowser grunts, rolling his eyes like Mario's missing something really obvious. "It's a performance more than anything. Strongholds weren't impressing Peach, so I tried a mobile defense ship." Bowser starts to grumble under his breath. "...still didn't work, though..."

Mario makes a small o with his mouth. "Me and my bro are the only ones who've a-rescued her, though."

Bowser shrugs. "I've got no siblings, and my kids count as part of my stronghold, so they fight by me. My boyfriend works just fine, and I guess your brother, uh, greenie doesn't really matter. Only weird thing is you never try to kidnap her yourself."

Mario fights a chuckle at that. "Maybe I'll try it." He teases, before realizing something. "Bowser, you've a-kidnapped me before, too..."

Bowser's scales turn pink. "Y-Yeah, so?"

"Were you...trying to impress me?"

"Shut it." He grumbles. After a moment he puffs out a blast of smoke, like he's trying to wash off his embarrassment with the soot. All he accomplishes is dirtying his fine white suit. "...maybe."

Mario laughs for sure this time. It's a joyful sound. "Great, now I'm-a starting to look forward to the next time you try and take-a me hostage."  
"Y-You are?" Bowser suddenly asks, eyes wide.

Mario gives him a sly smile. "...Don't expect me to come quietly, though."

"You damn well better not!" Bowser grins. "The best males NEVER go down without a fight. They'll bust their own ass out of captivity, and kick yours for trying to keep it there!"

Mario picks up on his excited tone. "You really like fighting." He says, a connection forming in his mind. He knew Bowser liked fighting, of course. The Koopa was naturally aggressive and showed it easily. Even when Mario and Bowser went out on dates they'd often end up in a brawl. But this was different, it was like the Koopa found the idea of them tussling...fulfilling. Like a battle itself was a gesture of love.

"Took you long enough to get that, plumber." Bowser snorts. Mario smiles at him, heart starting to ache in a wonderful way. He looks up at the stars with joy. He's glad they talked like Peach had told them to. Mario didn't feel even a prick of annoyance left at his large lover. All he felt was very warm. 

"...Bowser?" He says softly. The Koopa looks back at him, seeing he's stopped in his tracks. "What?"

"What do you think we should a-say to Peach when she comes back? She seemed pretty annoyed."

Bowser huffs and kicks a rock (boulder), which flies off into the distance and knocks over some odd rock formations. "You're the human. You talk to her."

Mario hums and thinks, shutting his eyes in concentration. Suddenly, it hits him. He jumps in excitement, floating down slowly right onto Bowser's shell. The Koopa gruffly complains and reaches back to knock Mario off, but the human crawls up to lean over Bowser's shoulder. "Let's-a ask her again!"

"What?" 

"We'll ask her together." Mario says proudly. 

"What? To marry us?" Bowser snorts, a small bitterness leaking into his voice. "You know what happened last time."

"This is gonna be different." Mario insists. His eyes are shining with determination. "Last time, we fought over who was-a going to ask her. This time, we'll ask her together."

Mario places a hand on the King's jaw and looks him in the eyes. "We'll ask her to marry us both."

"...you think she'd go for that?" Bowser asks, eyebrows raised. 

Mario nods eagerly. "It's-a worth a try."

Bowser considers it, but ultimately grunts and crosses his muscly arms once more. "Well, what if she still says no?"

Mario looks at him. His yellow scales and sharp eyes. His fire-red mane and fangs peaking between his lips. The barely hidden tenderness under his aggression. Mario smiles.

"Maybe she a-will." Mario says. He takes Bowser's jaw once more and pulls his huge head close. Leaning in, Mario kisses the Koopa's snout. "But...I know someone who won't."

 

...

 

Peach holds herself very high as the Oddesy lands back on the moons rocky surface. To her silent pleasure, it doesn't look like the area has been rendered a battle ground, besides a few new craters and collapsed cliff faces. She easily spots two figures come to where she's landing, one of them waving excitedly. Peach steps off the ship once it has landed, feeling much more comfortable in her traditional princess gown than that stolen wedding dress. Mario quickly jogs up to her with a grin, and Bowser tromps along with him, his large clawed hands on his hips and a smirk on his jaw.

"You two." She coldly calls to them. "I hope you have both thought long and hard about your actions."

"We talked it all through." Mario says with a bright smile. Bowser nods in agreement. 

"I see. Then you are no longer in disagreement?"

If possible, Mario smiles wider, and Bowser copies the grin. "No arguments here." The Koopa says.

"And you both understand what you did wrong to all those people?"

"Uh." Mario says, smile dipping. Bowser scratches the back of his huge head. "Huh? Who?"

"You two-!" Peach blusters again, ready for another round of chewing them out.

"Wait, Princess!" Mario cuts in, face a bit pleading. "There's something we need-a to say to you..."

Peach crosses her arms and tips her head back, eyes sharp. "Well, what then?"

Mario looks at Bowser, and Bowser looks at Mario. Simultaneously, they each pull out a flower.

Peach's jaw drops at their audacity.

"Look, Peach." Bowser mumbles. "We were talking..."

"And we decided we both-" Mario starts to finish, but Peach is already throwing up her hands and yelling at them for doing this AGAIN when she JUST told them to knock this off four or five hours ago. She vividly scolds them for a solid five minutes as they glance helplessly at each other.  
Eventually, Mario shrugs at Bowser, and Bowser shrugs at Mario. 

Bowser snatches up the princess in his clawed hand and starts to carry her off somewhere. She goes silent in complete disbelief. She looks at Mario, expecting some kind of rebuttal. But Mario just smiles sheepishly and starts to jog along with them. 

"What in the world are you two-" Peach's mouth parts when she sees where they are headed. "For the LAST TIME I am NOT getting married today!"

"That's-a ok, Princess." Mario smiles at her kindly. "We'll wait until you're-a ready."

"Wha-, You-, But-," Peach sputters, boggled. 

"C'mon, Plumber. They're gonna close soon." Bowser grunts, carefully tugging along their very confused girlfriend. Mario take that as a challenge, and long jumps down a hill, somersaulting to gain speed and then triple jumping up to the side of the ridge. With a kick he launches himself of an oddly placed flower bud and gracefully spins upwards to land softly at the top. He looks down at his two lovers with a gloating grin. "You were a-saying?!"

"Show off." Bowser grumbles. "Hang on, Peach."

Peach does so, too lost to complain as Bowser sets her on his shoulder in a similar way that Mario did when he'd temporarily taken control of the King. The Koopa rubs his clawed hands together, slams them into the rock, and starts to climb. It's an impressive display of strength, even with the lesser gravity, to say the least. He's only a little out of breath when he reaches the top with her, though his suit is even dirtier and starting to tear here and there. Mario looks at the King with awe, and Bowser smiles smugly to himself at the look. "YOU were saying?" Bowser mimics.

Mario's face softens a bit, and he holds out a hand. Bowser huffs at the sappiness, but still holds out a claw in return. Mario takes it, and all three of them enter the cathedral.

"Wh-What is going on here?" Peach demands, shaking her head. "I-I swear if this is a ploy to have my hand-"

The doors to the wedding hall open, no one there except for a trembling Volbonan attendant. The small, fork like thing cowers as the Koopa King struts in and sets Peach down.

"I-I-Is that the W-Witness?" The attendant asks in a small voice. Mario smiles disarmingly and comes over to pat the attendant on the back. "Yeah, she's-a the one. Can we start now?"

"Well, um-"

"C'mon!" Bowser roars at the poor attendant. "I've waited, like, years already! Let's get to it."

Mario doesn't seem to be able to decide between a smile or a frown at Bowser's attitude, so he just shakes his head. "Is it ok if-a we start?"

The Volbonan shakily nods his bright orange head. Mario beams and Bowser huffs out a "finally".

"U-Um, W-We are g-gathered here today to, um-"

"Get on with it!"

"Bowser, give him a chance!"

"Wearegatheredheretodaytojoinbothofyouinmatramony.MariowillyoutakeBowserasyourlawfullymarriedhusband?!"

Mario looks up at the grinning King. A flutter fills his whole chest, and he nods. "I-a do."

"BowserwillyoutakeMarioasyourlawfullymarriedhusband?!"

"You bet your ass I do!" Bowser snorts flames out his nose, eyes shining in resolve.

"Ipronounceyouhusbandandhusbandyoumaynowkissthegroomokbye-!" The attendant scurries away faster than anything with such small legs should be able to. Neither of the two men seem to notice. For a moment neither of them move, daring the other to try something. Suddenly, Mario leaps at the much larger Koopa. Bowser snatches him easily, bringing him up to force an aggressive smooch on the man. Mario laughs under it, Bowser's maw so large he's practically kissing half of Mario's face. Still, the Italian kisses back just as earnestly. Bowser doesn't seem keen on letting him back down, but Mario doesn't mind much. They send each other stupid grins, Mario reaching to toy with Bowser's vivid red hair as the Koopa snorts with a fond amusement.

"What...has just happened?" Peach asks, shell shocked.

They both turn to look at her, smiles still just as bright. "We decided." Mario says softly. "Both of us want-a to tie the knot. And you're-a not quite there yet. So...we decided we'd take the step together." 

Bowser grunts his approval. "You can still get in on this now, I'll drag the fork back."

"Later is fine too!" Mario jumps in. "Or never. It's-a your choice." The plumber gestures to the Koopa. "I'll keep him in line, don't-a worry about another forced wedding."

"Oh really?" Bowser grins. "Wanna put your money where your mouth is?"

Peach stared at the two a minute more, before it clicks. "You both...Oh my!"

Peach practically rushes them with congratulations, and kisses to them both. They both are left starry eyed and swaying from her affection. She's absolutely overjoyed at their commitment, to the point she forgets entirely about everything else she had planned to chew them out about. The three of them slowly start to make their way out of the wedding hall, Bowser and Mario still holding each other's hand/claw, before Mario remembers something relatively unimportant.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Mario holds up the white flower in his hand. "Someone needs to toss this."

"Huh? Why?" Bowser leans in to peer at it.

"It's a small human tradition." Mario says. "One of us tosses a bouquet, and whoever catches will-a be the next person to marry."

Bowser isn't too impressed. "Just give it here. I'll chuck it."

"You'll probably break a window." Mario taunts. "Give me a second..." Mario absently puts a hand over his eyes and throws the flower over his shoulder. No one even thinks about it, but with the only other person present being Princess Peach...

Both Bowser and Mario turn around to see their shared girlfriend holding the flower. She looks from it, to them. The newlyweds look at each other, at Peach, at the flower, and at each other once more.

Their eyes narrow.

Peach sighs. Those two never change, do they?

 

[Bonus]

"You got married? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" Luigi screams in devastation.

Mario laughs nervously and scratches the back of his head. "Y-You know how it is, bro. Time waits for no man-"

Mario spends the next twenty minutes hiding from his helium tank wielding brother, and desperately trying not to get 'popped'.


End file.
